the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I want to have your abortion
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
