Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
