so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I am midnight drunk by noon
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
