id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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