I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
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