We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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