did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
