lets start a swedish sibling band together
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
