I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Randomize
