I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
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