well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
