i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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