I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
