I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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