So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
