Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
