I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
