My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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