I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
