Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Randomize
