i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
