She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
