no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
