she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
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