You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
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