My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Randomize
