he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
accomplished twins. life is a go
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
