Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
You are a booty call, not a friend.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
