It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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