there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
