I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Randomize
