just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
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