Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
