i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
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