I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
