Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
