you would pick up someone in the library
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
