You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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