im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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