we have pet lesbian snakes
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
