Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
