is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
