I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
