Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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