its not stalking. its research.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Randomize
