nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
