This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Randomize
