there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
