I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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