My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
