Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Randomize
