You just made me feel so damn special
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
