Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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